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14 People Share The Most Thoughtful Gifts They Received During Breast Cancer Treatment
Think personal and practical.
By 
Absolutely no one wants breast cancer. But the reality is that about one in eight women will develop breast cancer sometime in her life. And if and when a diagnosis comes, there are some things that can make the shock just a teeny bit better. We asked people for the tangible items, experiential gifts, and even the actions that money can't buy that meant the most to them during their treatment process and their recovery.
So if you want to help a friend or loved one with breast cancer but aren't sure how to strike the right tone (but absolutely want to make them smile), here are 17 creative ideas—straight from people who have been through breast cancer and actually received these awesome gestures—that you probably haven't thought of that will send a supportive, thoughtful message.
Em & Friends A Card To Make Them Laugh
“Emily McDowell’s cards are the perfect mix of humor, snark, and reality and truly make you feel like the person sending it gets the shitty situation you are in," says Anna Crollman, of Cary, North Carolina. "I would buy 10,000 of her cards if I could and distribute them daily. They are truly the best.”
Nordstrom A Surgery 'Prep Kit' (With PJs!)
Surgery can be a huge load, both physically and mentally. Consider putting together a gift full of items your loved one can put to use before their procedure(s) to practice some self-care leading up to it, and also afterward during the recovery period.
You might want to consider “including PJs, a support pillow, a spa gift card, and many other thoughtful goodies,” says Keri Burnette from Raleigh, North Carolina. (Keep in mind with clothing, you'll want it to be something they can get on and off as comfortably as possible post-mastectomy and/or reconstruction, so consider a top with buttons or a zipper.)
“The most thoughtful gift was from my nurse navigator, who gave me seven necklace charms that spelled ‘J-O-U-R-N-E-Y,’ and I chose who to gift those to—who was going to walk my journey with me," says Maureen Parrish, of White Lake, Michigan. "Fourteen years later, my husband still wears his.”
Good Old-Fashioned Hangs
"I think what I appreciated the most was the gift of friends unexpectedly showing up to take me to my favorite coffee shop or boutique shopping, or being my partner in the races that I signed up to run," says Mia Tardive, who lives in LeMars, Iowa.
Cancer has a way of "sucking the life out of you," she adds. "Being able to continue to do things with people I care about and who care about me made me feel like I was still living and able to enjoy life in between the chaos of my daily struggles.”
ThisIsMyYearGear A Sweatshirt With A Personal Touch
ThisIsMyYearGear A Sweatshirt With A Personal Touch
“I don’t live near any family, so when I opened up a package from my aunt and found a zip-up hoodie (perfect to wear during infusions) signed by all my family and friends back home, I cried," recalls Stephanie Lyle, Fort Bragg, North Carolina. "Every time I wore the hoodie, I felt like I was being hugged by my loved ones.”
A Favorite Homemade Snack
“One of our closest family friends made me fresh applesauce during chemo. It was one of the things that I could eat, and she would make batches and put them in little containers," says Jodi Inverso, from Yardley, Pennsylvania. "It was a perfect gift.”
A Massage
“Massage and acupuncture helped me so much in the rough days following my chemotherapy treatment,” says Crollman.
“The most thoughtful gift I received was a package containing a plant, a book of jokes, green tea, and a printed piece of paper with quotes from Dr. Seuss's Oh, the Places You’ll Go!" says Katie Parker, of Rapid City, South Dakota. "I was so touched by the thought, love, and support that went into this gift.”
Benefit Cosmetics Brow Makeup
“One of my best friends from high school and I were instant messaging one day near the end of my chemo treatment, when my brows and lashes were barely hanging on and would soon fall out completely," recalls Suzanne Hawkins Duff, of Columbia, South Carolina. "I told her that I was stressing about that more than losing my hair because I was working, dealing with clients and going to court, and not having brows or lashes would be so traumatic."
A day or two later, Suzanne received "the most amazing package from Sephora with every fancy brow product on earth," she says, adding that she cried her eyes out at the gesture.
A Listening Ear
For Kate Catlin Payne, of Raleigh, North Carolina, the most thoughtful gift was an ear. "The pregnancy pillow saved my life post-mastectomy and the comforts, kind notes, flowers, and treats absolutely lifted by heart tremendously," she says. "But the people who had the guts to ask how I was doing and really push to listen and hear all of my fears and feelings—that is so thoughtful."
Kate adds that when someone really sits with you and wants to hear you and learn and support, it is so appreciated. "Oh, and if they'll also wash your hair because you can't shower for 10 days post-mastectomy, that is super thoughtful too!”
A Home-Cleaning Service
“So many thoughtful gifts came my way: A woman who I only know from Twitter sent me a Beyoncé-glam wig. A friend's daughter regularly drew me pictures of peacocks and mailed them to me because I love peacocks," says Liz Dwyer, who lives in Los Angeles. "But the biggest one is that my colleagues hired a cleaning service for me that came once a week. That saved me.”
Look into cleaning services or apps (think: Handy) that service the zip code where your loved one lives.
Planning Help
If your friend or family member has something big on the calendar that they still want to see through, offer to help lighten the load by taking on some of the planning or other odds and ends that need to get done.
For example, “one of my closest friends planned a half birthday party for my 2 1/2-year-old son during my chemo,” Inverso says.
Handwritten Notes
“Handwritten notes were the best during my treatments," says Stephanie VanEman Jones, of Louisville, Kentucky. "Nothing better than getting mail that wasn’t bills!”
The Connecticut Home Company Soft Fluffy Faux Fur Bed Throw Blanket, Luxury Sherpa Reversible Blankets, Comfy Plush Washable Accent Throws for Sofa Beds, Couch, Fuzzy Home Bedroom Decor, 65x50, Merlot
The Connecticut Home Company Soft Fluffy Faux Fur Bed Throw Blanket, Luxury Sherpa Reversible Blankets, Comfy Plush Washable Accent Throws for Sofa Beds, Couch, Fuzzy Home Bedroom Decor, 65x50, Merlot
Linda Mielcarek, of Reynoldsburg, Ohio, will never for get the prayer blanket that "was made specifically for me," she says. "I had it with me at the hospital when I had my double mastectomy.”
EMstudioCrafts Supportive Bracelets
“A family member had #telistrong bracelets made for those supporting my journey,” says Chantele Danker, of Raleigh, North Carolina.
There are a few reasons that Burnette loved receiving a Wonder Woman mug: "First, Wonder Woman was my favorite super-heroine when I was little, and even still as an adult. She’s has the greatest powers and abilities," she explains. "Second, it was from one of my close girlfriends with whom I had most recently worked at the American Cancer Society (no irony there). It made me realize she sees the strength in me."
Childcare
“My mom put her life on hold and flew down every other week for 20 weeks to be with me. She watched my kids, who were only 3 years and 8 months old at my diagnosis," says Kristine Franklin, of Fuquay Varina, North Carolina.
Kristine's mom took care of her children during her daughter's treatments and when she was too sick and exhausted for those days following. "[My mom] was there so my husband could go to each treatment (minus the one she came to)," she explains. "I also had friends come in and help with the kids when I needed. They all would step in and help without hesitation.”
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