If you're wondering how to spice things up in the bedroom, you're not alone. In fact, it's the number one question sex experts are asked, says Hannah Deindorfer, a sex educator and sensuality coach based in Austin. Her answer? Grab some couples sex toys.
Sex toys designed for couples can bring partners together before they've even been put to use, says Deindorfer. “Picking out a new toy to try together is a great way to start an open conversation about desires and to immediately add spice and connection by introducing a vulnerable conversation.” Of course, fingers, mouths, and genitals are important players in the bedroom, but vibrators, sex toys, and other fun accessories like bondage tools open up new doors and avenues to O-town.
"Toys are a great asset to increase arousal," says Jenni Skyler, PhD, a certified sex therapist based in Colorado. "It’s kind of like you can make a fire with flint, but if you have some gas lighter, it’s going to go a little more smoothly for you." Plus, sex toys are an excellent way to close the orgasm gap, adds Deindorfer. Studies show that most women don’t orgasm off intercourse alone, so adding a vibrator, or a metaphorical extra set of hands, can really help.
Why should couples use sex toys together?
Along with the more obvious benefits of introducing your partner to your favorite vibrator (hello, orgasms), there's the inherent hotness of bringing your S.O. along for the ride—so to speak—as you test out a new-to-you product or sexual fantasy.
Plus, erotic toys for couples and new technology can enhance intimacy and communication."Intimacy is built in every step of the process," says Johanna Rief, head of sexual empowerment at Lovehoney. "You learn something new about what your partner likes while discussing what types of toys each other wants to try. Then, there's the excitement and anticipation that builds as you wait for your package to arrive. Finally, you get to experience something new together, "which takes vulnerability and trust," Rief explains.
How do I talk to my partner about incorporating toys into our sex life?
To get that convo started, Liz Klinger, a certified sex educator and CEO of Lioness, offers a simple solution that requires communication and open-mindedness. "Gauge their reaction first, talk about it, and then make a decision. But know that there’s a chance they may not want a sex toy, and that’s fine, too."
But if they are interested, feel free to shop 'til you drop. But remember: You don't have to limit yourself to products labeled as "couples toys" at retailers, Skyler explains. The point is to have fun, so allow yourself to get creative and use pretty much any toy from *naughty* toys like bondage sets to remote-controlled vibrators or wands that you'd use solo.
How can couples use sex toys together?
First, ask yourself what the best sex toys are for you and your partner. Start by exploring where you want to add more sensation to your sex life and find a toy that suits that desire, Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, a professor of sexual communication at California State University Fullerton, suggests. For example, a woman’s pleasure center is her clitoris, so using a vibrator can make sex more pleasurable for both her and her partner. For those with penises, they may find they have different pleasure centers, like the prostate, which can be massaged using butt plugs, vibrators, dildos, and more. So, it totally depends on where you seek stimulation.
With that being said–before playtime, you need the toy first. Ready to turn up the heat in your bedroom (and beyond 😉)? Here are the 27 best sex toys for couples in 2023 you can shop right now.
This product from We-Vibe is the real trifecta. It can be inserted into the vagina and used on the outside to stimulate the G-spot, the clitoris, and the penis (if you're having heterosexual sex). This toy is also adjustable, so you can make sure that you're comfortable and that it's hitting all the right spots just how you like it, says Suwinyattichaiporn.
Rief recommends this duo for couples interested in quiet, discreet foreplay. Depending on you and your partner's bodies, you can choose two panty vibrators, two vibrating rings, or one of each to really spice things up.
"These toys can be controlled via app or remote, which helps build the excitement before intercourse or even allows for an extra exciting night out on the town," Rief says.
To quote the iconic Samantha Jones, "Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin'." If you're finding yourself or your jaw particularly tired during oral sex, consider this your number-one helper. It works as an extension of your mouth and massages the shaft of the penis while your tongue works its magic on the tip.
Hey, double-duty sex toy—this baby is designed specifically for couples as a clitoral/anal vibe with both a built-in cock ringand bullet. The ridged bullet massages you while the ring buzzes the base of the penis or shaft, upping the chances of a simultaneous orgasm. Hello, explosive O's for all.
Reviewers said the metal band around it feels a bit hard
If you, or the person you're having sex with, has a penis, you're definitely going to want to add this one to your collection. The Arcwave Voy tightens around the penis to produce even more feel-good sensation during oral sex or foreplay. Since it's small enough to fit in the palm of a hand, it's unlikely you'll lose your grip on it either, no matter how wild things get.
If you're looking to bring a really beautiful glass piece into your sexy time, look no further than this battery-operated translucent dildo. It's designed to retain heat or cold, so you can use it to experiment with temperature play.
This penis toy from Fun Factory adds targeted stimulation to solo play, oral sex, and penetration. It's contoured to hold the penis—thanks to the 'wings' at the top of the toy—and it's designed with ridges to hold lubricant in place. Plus, it features a center channel where the deep rumbling vibration is amped-up.
This award-winning clitoral vibrator is a fan-favorite for a reason. Its intensity increases automatically when you (or bae!) press it against your body. The harder they press, the faster this toy will work. You can let your imagination figure out the rest.
This double-ended strap-on offers some hardcore vibrations for both the penetrating and receiving partner. Oh, and did I mention there's a clitoral stimulator for the wearer, too?
Well if this isn't the sneakiest vibrator you ever did (or didn't) see. Available in rose gold, silver, and gold plating, you can wear the Vesper as a statement necklace and no one has to know that it also doubles as a slim, four-speed vibrator. It's a sexy secret for you and bae!
Give some love to all of your partner's erogenous zones with this flexible little vibrator. The silicone arms are bendable and will stay in place to best fit you, whether you use it to caress nipples, for internal stimulation, or wrap it as a vibrating cock ring. Plus, a remote is included, so you can hand over complete power of the Tryst's 10 vibration settings.
There are a few ways you can use this powerful vibe, which has one non-vibrating and one vibrating side. Female-on-female couples can use it for penetrative sex or, you can use it a combination of ways for both vaginal and anal use. Of course, this toy is also suitable for solo play when bae isn't available.
Honestly, Fin is a miracle toy. Fit like a snug little ring for your pointer finger, this little powerhouse packs a serious punch. Use it alone or add it to penetrative sex for some extra clitoral stimulation. Added bonus: Fin doesn’t look anything like a penis, in case penises aren’t your ~thing~ when it comes to sexy time.
Reviewers say horseshoe shape is not ideal for internal use
A super bendable vibrator, the Ruby has a unique shape that makes it look more like a shoehorn than a vibrator. Its flexibility allows partners to easily bend it in any way they need to for the best stimulation. Users also love its bulb-shaped end, which is specifically useful for G-Spot arousal, and they say it's great for internal stimulation, too.
If you've ever fantasized about your lover tying you up during playtime, this may be the next toy to add to your chest. This 20-meter tape is great for a fun night at home—or to throw in your suitcase, since it's little less awkward than a TSA agent pulling your ball gag.
Nipple play can really turn up the heat in the bedroom. These chic nipple clamps come with rubber tips for those sensitive areas. There are also adjustable tension knobs in case the squeeze is a little too intense or if you want to dial things up a notch–perfect for the novice or professional.
This adorable toy is another one designed with couples in mind. The tiny, light, and easy-to-use vibe is similar to a cock ring (hello, direct clit pleasure), but it's worn by a person with a vulva, fitted snugly under the labia. Plus, it's waterproof, so you can get very creative with your sexual adventures.
Dame's bestselling sex toy, Aer, emulates oral stimulation using air pulsing technology. As a personal fan of the five patterns and five intensity levels, one editor loves how they can adjust it to fit both her and her partner's needs.
This remote-controlled anal and prostate massager has six impressive vibration settings so you or your partner can find just the right speed. It has two motors that deeply massage all parts of the booty from the prostate to the perineum.
This cock ring goes above and beyond for couples. Worn by a person with a penis, it's meant to give endless pleasure to both partners. The cock ring is designed to deliver amazing vibration that can be adjusted with the touch of a button.
Lydia Wang is the love & life editor at Women’s Health, where she writes and edits articles about sex, relationships, identity, and pop culture. She lives in New York and spends way too much of her free time reading romance novels in coffee shops and tweeting about her favorite dating shows.
Lily Wohlner is the Associate E-Commerce Editor of Women’s Health. An expert in recommending the best products to add-to-cart, she knows what it takes for a product to receive a solid five stars (especially when it comes to beauty!). Starting her career as a freelance makeup artist, Lily has since moved to the editorial world, where she has generated content for brands including Oribe, NewBeauty, Dermstore, SkinStore, and LOOKFANTASTIC. When she’s not zenning out with a pore-clearing mask, the Lower East Side dweller is cheffing up a new recipe with her roommate or thrifting for the perfect pair of blue jeans. Follow her on Instagram.
Neha Tandon is the senior commerce editor of Women's Health—she's an expert in discovering the best products and services you can buy and giving recommendations. She discovered her love for magazines when as a teen, she started stealing her mother's magazines. Determined to see more women who look like her and her family members on the glossy covers of magazines, she was guided by seasoned editors and mentors to write for brands including New York Magazine, Cosmopolitan, BRIDES, Harper's Bazaar, Business Insider, Byrdie, and Well+Good. When she’s not grilling dermatologists about the latest skincare trends, she’s doing candlelit yoga or watching Humphrey Bogart movies over vegan pizza. Follow her on Instagram.